Updates

Well where do I begin. I guess I'll take things from the top.

This is where things get a bit tricky. I have finally graduated from high school. Although, I'm glad to have finally graduated from there; I will miss a lot of faces at school. I will miss some more than others but I have the memories.

As far as other things concerning past confrontations between old friends I have nothing now for them to use. I have given up with trying to be cordial. I have tried all that I can do. So this is where we depart and never speak again.

Now with school out of the way I can for once focus on projects I have for a long time. One of them being to actually start learning music theory. I have been going at my own pace but one of these days I'll be good (haha yeah). Another on going project I have always been trying to keep up with his writing shit down. Regardless I still want to write a lot on here just to keep sort of a record of old times and new changes. With free time I'll be able to do just those things.

In the fall, I begin college. October 1st to be exact. In the end of August I'll be attending Penny Arcade in Seattle, WA. That'll be good fun. I also plan to get a couple of tattoos done before the year ends. I'll post pictures of them here at a later date.

A

Oh how I'm troubled
About so many things
Sensitive to things unknown
Yet, I'm here

Because it takes a long time
But eventually recover takes place
You'll demand my attention
And certainly, I comply

Come sit over here
Sit close
Hold me tight
Don't let me go

Because I've never had the attention...

Certainly, I've been lost in the passing tides of yestereday's dawn
But the undertow keeps pulling me out
Lost in the massive sea
I wonder...

I've swam my lifetime away
And still I'm the ocean!!
Why can't I look the other way?

The Victim (II) NOITAILAER

Days grow longer and darker now. So far its a late winter. Christmas and all that coming up. This year being my last year at high school. A part of me is disheartened to know that I'll be leaving while on the other hand I want to flee not only from a school of distrust and rumor mongers but also to leave the area due to family elements. Not the school itself is a bad place, but the students inside. Everyday I see the fakeness. Enough to kill a man. I know that I once wanted to never leave my crew of friends I like to call the "Fellas" In fact, I gave up a golden oppourtunity for these people that I grew up with. Now in my active daily life I'm victim to the "Fellas." Thus contributing to my lament of my decison. In essence, I learn more and more each and everyday.


The Victim

Wait until he falters
Grab the strings and handles
Transpose the victim
Fill him up with false hope
(20 cc's stat!)

In the most dire accident
Mentality takes a backseat slide
String him up
Apply once every week
(Twice if needed)

Clouds hang over his head
Offer an alternate substance
Of sodium chloride
Pull on the strings
Make him talk and walk
Function as if he is normal

+

He needs it
Allow him his visitors

A cloud hangs over my head
Thoughts of what I had
Gone now with the wind
A new rite, acheived
I know I'm constantly exposed
To this radiation
But it will not blast
This anomaly away
Selsun, dysfunction

A New Episode

Here we are again, back to square one. Did we forget something? Did we learn anything? Well lets look and see I suppose. Does the morning bird get the worm? (smile) Ahh enough of that shit i suppose. I'm here basically in a state of mind thats so whats the word for it? Meaningless is the word that comes to mine but slang usually associates it with "Bullshit."
One thing though, I was once an open plain, but with conflicts and wars on my surface, I became barren. Waste. Now equate that with that of a human and then witness forces at play. I became an animal, a dark animal with an appetite for causing trouble. Causing unease in others, I became even lower than an animal. I strived for my own destruction of my mind, Insanity, thats what became of me... (Pre Episode 1)

But then being crushed under what I had done, what I had said, what I felt, a new entity approached me, took me under his wing so to say for only two days. Within those two days, I turned away from my twisted outta control self. Slowly, I started coming around. I began to find happiness again, none of that hurtful happiness. I found something that gives me joy again. (Pre Ep 1)

Now... I find myself in one hell of a situation. I could go a multitude of different ways and each with their perks/consequences. And so I would like to note, with either direction I take...A new episode will be the period to the last one and start up a completly new one.

picture

Ahh Dizzang!....Oh Well...

Ahh shitty, looks like the fool has been made into me and replaced me.
Eh, s'alright I'm gonna go away now
Head on back to the beginning.
I hope I'm there by myself.
That way no one can play me for the fool anymore.
(Oh dang, shoulda started a ryhme scheme)

BAM! Layed out to die
Left to be raped and used
My eyes look to the sky
Here I lay in the grove of the accused
Waiting.

Gyika!

Do you think its true bliss?
I don't even know who to trust
I look at them back in my dust
Running away from them
But I'm stuck just like flem
Its ok
I'll make it
Not a thing can hurt
Even when I hit the dirt
Look inside
You'd never guess that I'd died

I hear them call out to me
Drawing me closer to hypocrisy
Sinking further and further
Into lost thoughts and negativity

Run away with me
It would make me glee
(Yaaaaaaoooooh)
It hurts when they talk you down
Especially when you're not around
What happened to that state of mind
We musta run outta time

I don't know why I walk on
That must just be how it goes
I suppose
Seeing how everything is
Things just seem to lose focus

(Yaaaaaaoooooh)